have to pen down some thoughts first. if not, i doubt i'll be able to study well later.

so, fyi. im currently very pissed off with some ppl. firstly, some ppl who keep fooling around. and secondly, ppl who keep complaining their in the wrong course.

so... i've been hearing ppl complaining that they're not in the course that they wan because they're parent wan them to take up another course instead. and wad im actually wondering is... if ur strong against ur stand and very firm on the course ur going to take, i doubt ur parents will actually forbid u from going into that particular course. and even if ur parents did forced u into that course. its all for ur own good isnt it? take me for example. my parents nvr cared for my studies at all. as long as i passed all my exams, i get promoted, they satisfied. for my course, i have to decide on my own. they dun even care wad courses i choose. and even if i get good results, its like nth to them. i passed PSLE, went got to express in sec sch, not praised. passed O levels, able to get into poly, not praised. got into a good course in poly, not praised. tried my best to survive in poly and although my grades arent that good but at least its better than most ppl, not praised. and for this time's ut. i think i did very good. 2 As and the other 2 modules' results are not out yet... and i was extremely happy that i got A for a&p while most ppl in my class got D. i wasnt happy that they did worse than me. wad im happy abt is that i finally got grades which are so much better than others. and still, im not praised. so, i must admit. sometimes i tend to get very cocky when im being praised. at least i dun deny it.

ppl sometimes get the misunderstanding that when parents dun care abt u and let u do wadever they wan, they're good parents who give freedom their kids. to me, its not this way at all. it just means that the parents doesnt have any responsibility at all. so as i was saying, if ur parents ask u to go into another course which u have no interest in, u can tell them nicely first. if not, they really wan u to do well in that area and become wealthy in future (well, i dunno abt the wealthy part) then if u really got into the course which u dun like, learn to like the course first if not, thrs really no use in taking any course at all. another example, i chose pure history for one of my subject combination during sec sch. i hated history. alot of ppl were very surprised that i chose pure history as one of my subject. but as time goes by, i put interest into that subject and managed to passed it. so, seriously ppl. u have parent who are abt ur future. why are u complaining when i aint even complaining?

for ppl who keep fooling around, just do everyone a favour and drop out of sch. thrs alot of ppl outside waiting for that slot that ur taking. u see, once u drop out of sch, u can do wadever u like. no one will be able to control u. u will have the so called "freedom". so instead of coming to sch and wasting space, why not just drop out, take on a part-time job and continue doing that for the rest of ur life? seriously.... some of these ppl have great parents who care abt their future, but they just wanna ruin that dream that their parents have for them right in their face. sometimes, it really break my heart when i see parents crying because their kids did something wrong. at least, they felt responsible for it. well, i've no example for this cause i've always behaved myself and always try not to bring trouble onto myself because i dun wanna let my parents be troubled because of something that i've done wrong. have u noticed, parents are always blamed when their kids turn bad. sometimes, its not the parents that are at fault. its the kids. but all blame are pushed to the parents regardlessly. i seriously feel bad for those parents.

so yah, so many ppl have parents who care abt their studies, who cares abt their future. but they are still complaining so much. and sometimes, ppl have their parents to turn to when they feel like shit. but when that happens, i only have my bed, pillow, bolster, rabbit and bear to turn to.

even though all this happen to me, i wont say that im faking a smile everyday like wad most attention-seeking ppl who are seeking for ppl to comfort them will say.

i will say, the smile that u see everyday on my face is real. that is because i learn to overcome the sad things and see things in a different light. im not those ppl who makes their whole life sad just because they did something wrong/thought they shouldnt have done something and regretted it. life's too short to weep around. why not look at the bright side and continue life?

phew. after all this, i felt as if a heavy load is lifted off my shoulder.

hmm... and now, im hungry.

well, gotta go look for some food and start doing rj and stuff and study for tmr's ut.